I’ve been asked many times how someone can tell when they have found the right person to marry. I have a lot to say on that subject, for sure. But for starters, here are Five Reasons NOT To Marry That Person…

Reason #1: They are cheating on their spouse with you.

Seriously now… two people stood up in front of their friends, family, and a bunch of wedding crashers and made promises to stay faithful to one another. And now, they’re breaking all those promises. It isn’t because you’re so amazing that their original promises are negated by some ancient magical rule. It isn’t because originally they just thought they were in love but now with you they KNOW they are. It is because they fully lack character and self-control, and because you lack standards. I’ll be honest: if they cheat on someone to be with you, they’re going to bring that same level of commitment and decision making to your world, your circle of friends, your family, and your future. This isn’t going to end well, so end it now.

Reason #2: Because it seems like they’re talking you into it.

If you are not 100% excited, convinced, enthusiastic, captivated, committed, and completely sold that without a doubt this is your lifelong partner and you can totally trust them… why the heck get married? If someone has to “convince” you to be in a relationship with them, then the relationship isn’t just doomed to fail… it has totally tanked already. Run! Get out of there!

Reason #3: Because you feel sorry for them.

It is one thing to reach out to people in need, invest in their lives, and connect with people who need a friend. But you don’t marry them! Marrying someone that doesn’t have their life straightened out will suck all the joy away from your soul. I’m serious. Ever see a stoned college guy eat chicken wings at 3am? The way they bite off every piece of that thing that doesn’t crunch or crack? That’s going to be your soul. The only person who will tell you otherwise is… guess who… the person trying to get you convince you to marry them (see #2) or the person you’re supposed to pity. A marriage based on pity? That sounds “pity-Full” my friends. Think long and hard on this. Some people need serious medical and psychological help. Don’t be so arrogant as to believe that giving up your freedom to be happy so they can be free to melt down all over your life’s dreams will somehow fix their problems. If they have recurring problems with their friends they’re going to have problems with yours. If they’re always feeling sorry for themselves, I’m not sure who will be around to feel sorry for you in a couple of years. Don’t do it. You don’t want that crazy home life to be your own!

Reason #4: Because you have different religious beliefs.

Am I hearing you correctly? The entire world throughout history can’t stop killing each other over religious differences, but somehow your marriage “isn’t like that” at all? You’re saying that you can just slap a “COEXIST” bumper sticker on the back of your Volkswagen and elevate world consciousness because you have a special love? You believe that world leaders with Trillions of dollars and billions of lives at stake couldn’t accomplish what your warm fuzzy feelings while listening to Bon Iver on vinyl together can do? I hear what you’re saying; I just think you’re both going to have a really tough time…

Reason #5: Because you can’t find anyone else.

You might look more like Mclovin than Brad Pitt, but that doesn’t mean you have to settle for an unhealthy relationship. The idea of having to “settle” for someone you really don’t want to be with is the absolute dumbest, poorly structured decision you will likely ever make. Don’t settle. Learn from some other unfortunate unhappy marriage; don’t preach this message from your own life. Don’t settle for the best of whats around. Be the best, and expect it. Some will call you arrogant. I’ll call you focused.